how do I love thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

a sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

To the love of my life, Kamille,

Where do I begin? You are the definition of "don't judge a book by it's cover"; your no-nonsense demeanor allows many to assume you are unapproachable yet you have a very kind, generous, and loving heart. Your transparency, authenticity, and honesty may be surprising to some, but I know how much courage it takes for you to be exactly who you are. The bravery it takes to search yourself in a way so precisely, in an effort to remove philosophies that do not align with the woman you were created to be. The emotional intelligence to forgive those who planted those philosophies, while extending grace and compassion whether you were aware of their intentions or not. I admire your ambition, discipline, and determination for stability, security, and knowledge. I adore your playfulness and the exclusive way in which you express it. Your creativity is astonishing, as many assume you are a stereotypical Capricorn, limited to being analytical or reserved; with only an eye for structure. I love your passion and drive; strengthened by each obstacle you've overcome.

I delight in having the opportunity to witness you evolve from an arrogant, spoiled brat into a considerate, understanding, caring, optimist. The way in which you aim to create a safe space with others and offer support in ways appropriate for the situation or circumstance, is inspiring. It is motivational to observe your love for wisdom, logic, and reason; along with your attention to detail with such subtly. The way you embrace your imperfections as an extension of your quirky, whimsical, mysterious personality, while examining your "flaws" by God's standards, based on your rapport with Infinite Intelligence. At times, I am in awe of your humility and ability to remain accountable to yourself and others [when appropriate}, without justification or excuses. The way in which you haven't allowed your intelligence to make you judgmental or insensitive toward yourself or others is a huge indicator of the humanitarian you are at heart. 

Your words are intentional, inspiring, and thought-provoking often offering a perspective from a unique viewpoint. The way in which you care and love yourself should be studied, as I acknowledge the times in your life when you did not like yourself very much. The contrast of wanting to "choose the sea" to celebrating and seeking to enjoy each day is a testament to the Divine. Expressions of gratitude and thankfulness despite various conditions and circumstances makes me love God even more. With the versatility to feel comfortable in any space, from "the hood" to upscale is a skill you embody effortlessly. Your wit and humor are only a couple of things that make you interesting as well as demonstrates how multi-faceted you are. To behold a measure of your growth, from vaguely expressing your thoughts and feelings in a cryptic manner to the artistic interpretation in which you translate your heart and mind, is beautiful.      

My prayer for you is to glow so brightly from within that you attract the person God created for you.  The person with the intention to love you for as long as you are aligned, a companion to grow in age with, who fulfills your fantasy of sitting on the porch, with a beverage and some joints, engaged in silence or intriguing conversation, as your heart's are at ease in one another's company. Jokingly, you said "I wish I could clone myself, so I could have me, a me" and I wish that for you; the person so in tune with you that you feel at home, able to rest. I encourage you to remain open-minded, discerning, on your steady quest toward healing. I pray you heal the areas of your heart, mind, and spirit wounded from neglect, abuse, grief, and resentment. I pray you continue to see and embrace all aspects of who you are as you discover the parts within yourself which were hidden. I pray for your healing [physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually] as you deconstruct the indoctrination of societal beliefs rooted in blind-trust, blind-loyalty, and blind-faith.  

I am extremely proud of the woman you are, and the vision of the woman you desire to become. It is heartwarming to have been a spectator of your inner- child work, specifically with your 17 year old self when recognizing and acknowledging her dream of becoming a Psychologist. The commitment to take her along with you as you accomplish that goal, while remembering her as you access every resource available for succeeding. The way in which you comforted her as you guided her through self-forgiveness as you assured her that she did her best with the knowledge and information she had at the time. The embrace you radiate when diving into your heart to care for a younger version of yourself, is an illustration of the love you are capable of sharing. You embodied a quote by Ayesha Siddiq, which says "Be the person you needed when you were younger", confirming your gift of counseling others; as you learned through counseling yourself. 

On this day, dedicated to lovers, I could not allow the Sun to set without recognizing how remarkable you are to me. It took all of our experiences to arrive in this space of being and I appreciate your patience and willingness to reflect and improve areas you felt should be "better" than the hand you were dealt. The way you redefined vulnerability from a perspective of it being a weakness to a strength; shows how you can reframe the concept of love to manifest a true friend, who considers, respect, and adores you; fitting every character trait your understanding of the love you desire requires. You are loved, appreciated, and worthy of every good thing your heart desires. I pray these words penetrate your heart, mind, and spirit in such a way that you will forever remember to believe in yourself, and trust God [not only in times of uncertainty] as a daily practice for the rest of your days. I am here with you through it all and we will live this life to the fullest!

Eternally,

Kamille